{Tour} Heather Demetrios #ChooseYou Bad Romance Blog Tour (Author Interview & Relationship Tips!)

***INTERVIEW***

Hi, Heather! Thanks for taking the time to talk with us today. We always love chatting with you and we’re excited for our readers to get to know you and Bad Romance a little better. Let’s get started!

You guys are the best—it means so much to know when other people care about my books. I don’t have kids, so they’re my babies! ☺ I wrote Bad Romance because I was tired of seeing other girls go through what I went through in high school. I was in a horrible long-term relationship in high school and my husband—who teaches high school in Brooklyn—was telling me that he was seeing all these students of his in similar situations. I knew it was time to speak out and to let these girls know that they deserve better. That’s what the #chooseyou hashtag is all about—choose YOUR happiness, YOUR sanity, YOUR safety. This book was really hard to write – I didn’t want to write it at all, but I knew I had to. So I re-read all my journals from that two and ahalf year relationship and started writing. This one’s very autobiographical, even though a lot’s been altered.

Man, I am not writing enough right now. I’ll be writing like crazy all summer to meet my deadlines. Ideally, I write for at least three hours a day and get out 2K words. More is always better, but I’m also a creativity and writing coach and that takes up quite a bit of time. I try to write two books a year. I have my own tiny office in my apartment and the walls are this bright, cheerful green color and they’re covered with cork boards. Each board is for a project and has all kinds of inspiring stuff related to the book on it. Sometimes I listen to music, but I usually rock nature sounds. I write full time, so I’m home all day—every now and then it’s nice to get out and write at a café.

My favorite scene happens on a school bus that’s driving to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. It involves a boy named Gideon who is quite possibly the sweetest, most adorable human being that ever lived. He’s based on a real person that tried really hard to be there for me during my own bad romance in high school. But I fucked it up. So now he’s immortalized in these pages and he gives Grace something she really, really needs. There was a whole part of the book that was cut out when it was originally a memoir that had to do with my church youth group and my youth pastor. I really wanted to get into the mess of being a kid with faith who isn’t supposed to have sex until she’s married, but I just couldn’t make it work once the book became a novel. I’m hoping to get into faith stuff in my next contemporary.

It just breaks my heart to think of other girls going through what I went through. I want them to learn from my mistakes and escape some of the heartache and psychological distress that I experienced. I also just want them to know they’re not alone. I wrote this book for teen girls specifically, but I realized as the story came out of me that I was also writing it for myself, and for other women who have been in abusive relationships. It was super cathartic. It’s sad: every single woman I know who has read the book has either been in a messed-up relationship like this, or knows someone who is. 1 in 3 teens are affected by teen dating violence. It’s a serious problem. I’ve got lots of resources, inspiration, and encouragement on the Bad Romance tumblr and I think that will help, too.

Me, myself, and I! Grace is me, except probably a little bit cooler—right down to Rent being her favorite musical. It also takes her a little over a year to get out of her situation, whereas it took me twice as long.

For most of the time, writing Gavin made me want to throw up in my mouth—it just brought back waaaaaay too many bad memories. He’s definitely no Patrick Sheldon or Josh or Raif. BUT he’s a sexy enigmatic rocker guy that reads picture books to the girl he loves when she’s sick, so there is quite a bit of swoon potential. I will have utterly failed, though, if you’re rooting for him by the end. In terms of where to take his actions, I started with what happened to me and then spent a lot of time with Grace and Gavin to figure out where their story diverges from mine. There is really only one person—my best friend, Sarah, who would know what actually happened and what is made up. Not even my ex would know because I doubt he’d remember a lot of things that made a big impact on me. And, like any girl, I had my secrets.

• E-book or Printed Book? Printed! But I do love my Kindle (I never thought I’d say that, but it’s true!)

 

• Introvert or Extrovert? Extroverted introvert. I have a theater degree and am pretty used to public speaking, especially as an author, but I need to recharge a LOT on my own.

 

• N’SYNC or Backstreet Boys? Man, this question’s tearing up my heart! ☺ N’Sync. I love me some Justin Timberlake.

 

• Classic or Current? Classic. I’m all about vintage, snail mail, and Bach. But there are current things that I dig, too (Radiohead! Running Water!)

 

• Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate. I mean, come on.

I would BEG her to break up with her boyfriend and say yes to the cute boy who got her and wanted to be with her and lent her his Radiohead CDs. I would tell her that from my excellent vantage point here in the future, I can say with complete certainty that she is neither fat nor ugly. At all. (I recently found some old high school photos and I couldn’t believe how tiny I was – how sad is it that I thought I was fat all during high school??? I was a size 2!). I would tell her to go to Sadie Hawkins with the hot water polo player, not the tragic drama guy that was going to screw up the next decade of her life. I would remind her that her friends are pretty much always right and to just freaking listen to them when they say she deserves better. I would tell her that she isn’t going to Hell for giving a boy a blowjob and that, actually, she should listen to her gut when her church tells her to believe horrible, hateful things. I would let her know that life is going to get much better and probably teach her how to meditate, so she can deal with all the crap at home that’s going down until she moves out after graduation.

I’m obsessed with everything Sarah J. Maas writes, so I’ve got her newest on my TBR and can’t wait for more Throne of Glass goodness. Ibi Zoboi’s American Street is on my list—she’s one of my best writer friends and I can’t wait to dig into that. Dying to read E. Lockhart’s newest and am super lucky because I get a sneak peak at the sequel to Blood and Salt by my girl Kim Liggett (author perks!). Seriously, there are so many books I want to read. I have a TBR bookshelf. It’s actually kind of stressing me out.

This question is ALWAYS the best. Okay, so I’m super late to the party, but I read Outlander and watched the first season and OH MY GOD JAMIE. Major, major swoons. He’s so sweet and hot and protective – what’s not to like?! The king in The White Queen (I’ve only seen a few episodes) is to-die-for hot and, this is terrible, but I kind of love that he’s a dick. Luckily I’ve stopped falling for that type in real life. Any boy Sarah J. Maas writes is always going to be near or at the top of my list. They’re always sexy and a little bit (or a lot) dangerous. Clever will get you everywhere. I want to see more swoony boys in uniform. I miss hanging out with a hot Marine every day when I was writing I’ll Meet You There. We need more of those. 😉

Thanks so much for stopping by, Heather! You’re the best. Now don’t mind us while we read and re-read your answers over and over…