By now you know that when the four of us are together, in person or via the magic of the internet, the conversations almost always come back to books. We love them. We love the people who write them, the people who publish them, and the people who read them. In fact, we have so many feelings about books that we wanted to find a way to share our conversations with you!
This is the seventh week of our new feature, hosted by Fiction Fare (Erin & Jaime) and Swoony Boys Podcast (Kassiah & Meg). Spotlight Sundayis about ALL things bookish. Each week we’ll post a topic, we’ll start the conversation by telling you some of our thoughts, and then it will be your turn to sound off in the comment section.
How do you handle it when one of your book loving friends and you have a MAJOR disagreement about a book?
Erin: Considering the books that came out recently we thought this would be a good topic. I love this one because it is funny how weirdly people sometimes react when you disagree with them about a book.. People take it so personally and for me, I may disagree with you about something but that doesn’t mean that we can’t be friends. I have my favorites and I’m not going to hold it against anyone if they disagree with me about something. I think it actually creates healthy discussion about a book and also gives a different perspective. Perhaps they picked up on something I completely missed…it is possible!
Kassiah: I really didn’t want to chime in on this topic because I’m so judgmental! Erin, you have a great point about people picking up on something that I might have missed. What I don’t like is when it’s a fundamental difference and I feel like I lose respect for that person’s opinion, or feel that I can’t trust their bookish advice anymore. It makes me wonder if we read the same books sometimes.
I feel like my love of books is eerily close to religion and way more important to me than politics, and we all know that lines are drawn when you have even slight differences of opinion. I feel lucky that none of my friends and I have had major disagreements about the content in books, but rather it has been the process that we haven’t seen eye-to-eye on, like the publishing process and lack of professional editing. It makes me sad when that happens because there seems to be no compromise on either side for these things. As far as what happens in a story goes, it doesn’t happen very often, and depending on the person, I try to realize that it’s not personal. I mean, it’s totally fine with me if one of my best friends thinks it’s okay for a boy to make out with someone else right in front of the girl he crushed.I mean, we can’t all like the same things, and I kind of love that. This is a tough topic!
Meg: Oh, man. This topic. I don’t know you guys. For the most part I agree with Erin. I love the discussions that come from feeling differently about books. I even love the banter that it causes. Life would be so dull if we all agreed on everything, right? My only issue is when I believe with all my being that something is wrong and someone I know doesn’t see it that way. That’s only happened a few times. Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m too harsh, or that I see things in a different way from everyone else reading, but again, who wants everyone to see things the same way they do! If that happened we’d all fight over the same book. boys… oh, wait we already do that.
Jaime: *stares lovingly at Kassiah* we’re still book bffs right? LOL So, I seriously get that we all have different opinions about things, I do…but I’m incredibly judgmental when it comes to book ratings… I think I posted this a couple weeks ago on twitter:
my face when I see someone in my GR timeline give 5 stars to something I gave 1 star to… http://t.co/j4LqXlEdqn
— Jaime Arkin (@jaimearkin) February 1, 2014
Let me clarify that judgmental part a bit more though…I get that we’re not all going to love the same characters or writing style or plot points. I agree with you all in that it definitely fosters discussion and allows us to see other opinions. Those are things I can, for the most part, overlook. But when it comes to the craft of writing… that’s something that I will never be able to look past when rating a book. I don’t expect perfection, but I expect effort. And that I find is where a lot of my judgyness comes from.
But the reverse of my tweet is also true. I hate to say it, I take it completely personal if someone hates a character that I love. Like I see their review and I’m aghast at the possibility that someone didn’t see this character like I did… didn’t love him/her with the same fervor that I did, and I find myself holding back my need to plead their case.
As far as close book friends and I disagreeing, I have to say that I’m lucky to have a group that seems to like a lot of the same things I do, though that’s not to say we don’t have differing opinions on things… I’ve found that it’s easier to just not get into it unless it’s for fun. And I’m okay with that.
Have you guys had any kind of ‘end your friendship’ disagreement over a book?
Meg: I’ve never actually had an end of the friendship disagreement over a book, but I’ve had lots of “you’re lucky you’re pretty and I love you” disagreements over books. If someone ever tells me that Breaking Dawn or Requiem was their favorite book in either of those series we’d either have to agree to never talk about books, or yeah maybe we couldn’t be friends. Or If someone reads Red Rising and doesn’t love it with all their heart, well actually that’s fine because it means more Darrow (and Pierce for me.) So, no! I’ve been lucky so far.
Kassiah:Of course we’re still book bffs, Jaime. I thought we were more than that tbh. Anyway, I haven’t ever ended a friendship over a book. But I’ve definitely lost respect, and I think this topic is such a slippery slope.
Now that you’ve read some of our thoughts, let us know what you’re thinking in the comments below! We’ll be back next week with a brand new topic and lots more to talk about.
Very touchy subject guys, and I commend y’all for sticking it out regardless. It has never really bothered me before if someone hates a book that I love, or loves a book that I hate. I can’t stand the whole 50 Shades of Grey series, but I don’t hold it against people who love it. As I would hope they don’t hold it against me for not caring for it. My only issue with this would stem from someone getting and angry and trying to argue with me about a book that I loved or hated that they felt the opposite of. I would never criticize someone for their feelings and opinions, and I hope for the same respect. Luckily, I have never had this issue and I genuinely hope that I never do. I am a softy, and it would just make me cry.